Five Surprising Things I’ve Learned During Quarantine

Here are five surprising (to me) things I have learned during quarantine:

  1. You grow to loathe music, and Spotify in particular. The thought of streaming music now gives me a sense of palpable anger. Again? Again?? 
  2. When all else fails, you can always charge things by connecting them to your kids’ gaming systems. They are multitools of weird adapters and UBC-A ports.
  3. Columbo is both better and worse than I thought it was. It’s better in that Peter Falk is a more subtle and interesting actor than I remembered; it’s worse in that none of his cases make any sense and he basically busts people by annoying them into confessing.
  4. Hair glue can solve any grooming problem. Given enough tensile strength, there is no amount of uncut hair that can’t be kept off your face, for at least a few hours. 
  5. Panic buying behavior moves in weird cycles and patterns. A few weeks ago toilet paper was gold, with none to be found, and now my local grocery store has twenty yards of six-feet-high, fully-stocked toilet paper, but zero instant yeast.